i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
