can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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