i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
