i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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