I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
