And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
