I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
