It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
