Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
