we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
