just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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