And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
