We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have already put on my inside pants.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
