No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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