Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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