you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
