Well douche your snatch and let's go!
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
