I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize