the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
