my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
