Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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