she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
