i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
