Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
