it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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