I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
where does the pee come out of this thing
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
