When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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