Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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