1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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