So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
This house was built for laser tag.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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