You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
