You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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