Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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