new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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