If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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