oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
