K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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