he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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