My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I came so hard my ears popped.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
