Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
