Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
