why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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