They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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