i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
