so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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