Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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