it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
