It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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