well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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