he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
