the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
