when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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