I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
