white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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