Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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