just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just pee glitter
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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