Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
