Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
