Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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